3. Like my Rolex? It’s yours.

Greek authorities are looking into allegations of corruption and bribery by a number of local Novartis officials. An investigation had been in the works for nearly two months but the matter escalated when a Greek Novartis executive attempted suicide last week; however, police thwarted his effort. According to a source, the Switzerland-based company has similar ongoing investigations in South Korea and Turkey, and had settled for $370 million after a 2014 investigation by the US FBI. “There are a lot of holes in this cheesy story.” “Someone get Roger Federer to serve the subpoenas.” “They will need an army knife to get out of this one.” All Swiss jokes, all very funny. InsightCity apologizes to the good people of Switzerland. But only the good ones.

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